         The AA-Maze-ing Road To Recovery - Frequently Asked Questions
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Please read this file last, or at least after playing the map a few times.

1) What's that thing on top of the pillars? It looks like a door knob with a 
beard, but I know that couldn't be it...

Actually, that's exactly what it is. There's a thought stopping slogan used in 
every 12 Step program out there which says that "anything can be your higher 
power... a rock, a tree, even a door knob." My attempt to make a "flowing 
white beard" was to make the doorknob look more like a god.

2) Is there a way out of the 12 Steps?

In this map? No. In real life, you bet! All it takes is the willingness to 
take personal responsibility for your own actions... something seen far too 
infrequently in the rooms. Go to www.rational.org to get some excellent tips 
on breaking the chains of addiction forever.

3) Where did that speech in the meeting room come from?

It came from an episode of Dark Angel called Cold Comfort. It's in Season 1, 
episode 7. If you have the DVDs, it's the final episode on Disc 2. Go to the 
Scene Selection, and go to Chapter 7 - "AA Ambush".

4) Can you provide a transcript of that speech, please?

No. I suppose I could, but it would spoil what I believe to be the best part 
of this map, as there's going to be some people out there (you know who you 
are) who will completely skip over the request at the top of this file and 
read this through right away. Sorry, but that drunkalogue is simply WAY too 
big a spoiler to provide here.

5) How much is Jack paying you to spread this tripe?

Not a cent, as he as of yet is completely unaware of my adaptation of his map. 
Before you jump all over me for that, he declared his map to be "copyright 
free", so my adaptation isn't a violation of his rights. Besides, saying that 
people like Jack and myself are "in it for the money" is pretty hypocritcal, 
given all the hospitals that charge $78,000 US per year or more for addiction 
"treatment", that's designed to keep people addicted, and to keep their money 
coming back. Or, in the words of one stepper, "Treatment centres are a place 
where you spend upwards of $15,000 a year to find out that AA meetings are 
free". Truer words were never spoken.

6) How can you claim that the 12 Steps keep people adicted?

A basic analysis. The steps basically boil down to:

(1) Admit that you're a loser who can't keep control of your bowels, needs 
help getting dressed, and drools all over yourself (ie. that you are 
"powerless" over your addiction, and that "your life has become 
unmanageable").

(2) Come to believe in the Higher Power of rock, tree, or doorknob.

(3) It's not really the door knob, you know? Hail God. Worship God. Bow down 
before God. Smile and mention the God!

(4) Write a comprehensive list of everything that you've ever done wrong in 
your life, to show yourself how much of a worthless, pathetic loser you are.

(5) Pass all the information on this list to a grouper with "time", aka a 
sponsor, so they can use the information against you at any time when they 
think that you're going to "relapse" (ie. choose to give in to your addiction 
of choice) or leave the program, "for your own good".

(6) Come to believe that God cares a whit about you, a self-proclaimed 
worthless pile of cow dung who's lower than dirt. Feel the love!

(7) Oh, God, I, the most worthless form of scum imaginable on the face of the 
Earth, command you to snap your fingers and make me a good person, just like 
that!

(8) Make a list of everyone you've wronged, including someone you borrowed a 
penny from in kindergarten and didn't pay back.

(9) Grovel in the dirt before all these people, unless doing so injures them 
or others (others, presumably, includes yourself, so this step could very well 
be optional).

(10) A simple rehash of steps 4, 5, 8 and 9, but with more immediacy.

(11) Pray and meditate, hope to understand God and carry out His will.

(12) Spread the cult.

The original steps are all over the net, and for convenience (?) I've included 
them in the main meeting room in my map. There's even a rifle in there so you 
can read through the 12 steps, AND the 12 traditions using the scope. Looking 
through both, you'll notice that they're both severely lacking in words such 
as "stop", "quit", "abstain", or anything to do with leaving your addictive 
life behind in any way. That's because it's not really a "quit your addiction" 
program, but a "maximize your service to God" program. When it comes right 
down to it, these steps could be seriously curtailed without any change in 
effect. Whether it can be stopped at Step 3 (where God ends up being in 
control of every aspect of your life) or Step 1 (where you basically 
relinquish all sense of personal accountability) is open to debate, and is a 
decision that I leave up to the reader.

7) This is nothing more religious persecution!

Sorry, that isn't a question. Besides, steppers/sympathisers such as yourself 
like to claim that "it's not religious, but spiritual", so you can use it to 
spread the message in schools, in court, and everywhere else that religion 
isn't allowed. How can it be religious persecution if it's not a religion? You 
can't have it both ways. Not a stepper/sympathiser? No worries. In that case, 
you probably wouldn't have "asked this question" anyway.

8) I thought you said that all the bugs were squashed? What's up with the 
smoke in the meeting room?

OK, fine... that's the one bug I didn't manage to squash, and was debating 
whether I should leave the smoke zone in or not. Given how cool it looks when 
it's working right, I decided to leave it in. I may come back to this map 
later and try to squash that final bug and/or anything else that comes up 
later, but for now I'm going to say that it's symbolic of how not every 12 
step group is filled with smokers and leave it at that.

9) Why are there so many bots in the RR section of the map and none in the 12 
Step section?

OK, fine, there's 2 bugs, if you want to nitpick. Yeesh! :-) The answer is, I 
really don't know. I set all of the RR transporters to be player only, so I 
really have no idea why they keep choosing that path anyway. If you'd like to 
get them back into the action and you're in the maze, frag your player, and 
go into the RR section. Even though there's no way to frag them with weapons, 
they can still be telefragged. Just keep doing it until no more show up and 
then head into the 12 step section.

10) Is it OK if I modify this map and re-upload?

Sure, knock yourself out, but if you do, please credit me in your readme as 
the original author as I've done with all the maps I've adapted.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to post them here, or 
mail me and I'll see what I can do to answer them for you. Happy fragging! :-)

                                                      Leaky Meat